March 2026
This is where the chaos begins.
March 2026
im fucking stupid
March 2026
I fear I cant blog on here like I wanted to, I wanted to use it as a source to vent because people dont like to hear it from me- but im scared people I know will figure it out. But i am very excited to move away from my home, I cant wait to be somewhere where I am seen for me.
March 2026
Sometimes i feel like im being super insecure and annoying but the reality of it is- im being completely valid after everything ive been through. Like its not wrong of me to be slightly insane after it all. I chose to continue and i do not regret at all, I just sometimes wish that I didnt feel so tore up and nervous over it all the time. I know it wont happen again but my head says otherwise sometimes. Not beinmg on meidcation makes me feel better about myself but also this sucks ass. Anyways- S is on mushrooms and i find that funny. I wouldnt go back to drugs after being sober for so long. I do worry she will get addicted but i actually dont mind being near her anymore so im gonna let her do her thing. She also wants to be me still and thats annoying. Im not even saying that to seem cocky. Its been this way for awhile now but she copies everything that i do.The current example is that I am becoming an office lady for a school and now she is as well... As soon as i started talking to G she started talking to some guy in another state and fell in love with him. Like girl YOUVE NEVER MET HIM! its embarassing tbh. He also wants nothing to do with her other than flirt when hes bored. He is 100% seeing someone else. S even has proof of this but she still stays with him and hopes. Like girl give up already. Number 3 rant of the day- My ex called me last night and I watched it ring. I had no idea why he was calling. This morning i saw he texted me and asked me to hang out. Its truly random that he would ask- i havent heard from him in a few months. A few months ago he texted me and asked to talk and i didnt respond. My friends sent him a picture of me and my now boyfriend (we are engaged now sorta kinda) but that made me feel good about the situation. SO he knows ive moved on and im happy. Im debating responding this time- I dont think i should because I love G and dont want it to be a big deal, but i also would love to shove the fact that im engaged into his face. Its always the ones who hurt you the most that come crawling back when you dont need it. I was feeling insecure last night and then all of a sudden Tyler is calling me? Like be so fr with life rn. After typing all of this I went ahead and deleted and blocked his number. I am really happy with who i am with now and I dont need an ex coming back into my life just to tell me that I look hotter now and they wanna fuck. Like im not an easy fat girl anymore. I have faith that i will have a 10/10 body one day but right now its almost 100% better than it was whne i was dating tyler. SO i know he is shaking his head from far away- but oh well his loss. anyways this is how i really wanted to use this blog page, kinda like the show awkward where she just vents online to basically no one and it makes her feel better. I will say that I do feel better. And if G decideds to read this than oh well, at least he cares about what i wannna vent about lol.